i have never done anything for anyone that was not for me as well

Subject:	oooooooooooooooooooo
Time:	10:05 pm.
Mood:	OK..
Music:	Joy Division - Heart and Soul.

Yo. Today was pretty boring... I really did nothing. I was really bored and I remembered I was watching MuchLOUD last weekend. A Manowar video came on, and I never laughed so hard because of a video in my life! Old guys playing bad metal! Actually I am not sure if it's metal or not, I just remember it being really bad. That music is just way too easy to make fun of. A Cradle of Filth video came on after that. I laughed again. I don't understand that band. Anyway thats all. Merry X-Mas Eve.

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Time:	4:59 pm.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	I am the World Trade Center - Big Star.

Today was an absolutely horrible day! It started off with the discovery of my fish... dead! I went to go and feed him and he was lying on the floor of his tank. I tapped the glass and poked him with a stick, and he didn't move. :( so i flushed him down the toilet. After that I was upset but at least I was still going to my friend's house to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Well shortly after talking to her, she got into a fight with one of her friends and she didn't feel like doing anything anymore. What's worse is that I turned down an offer with some other friends to hang out so I could watch a movie with her! Any and all plans for today were destroyed. I decided I would go and check the mail, maybe there would be something there for me that would make me happy, like a cd, and there was nothing! So I sort of did nothing all day. I sat on the computer or watched television. I am so bored! Oh well, I guess the day is almost over... then I can go to bed, and maybe tomorrow will be better.

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Subject:	-----------
Time:	11:14 am.
Mood:	ILL.
Music:	TV On the Radio - Staring at the Sun.

oh my gooddddd. I am so sick, this is horrible! I had such a great time at the show last friday. It was a Christmas celebration. There was great cookies and cake and stuff, it was wonderful. I met a whole bunch of new people too, and they seem very nice. Thanks for taking me, Mike. The next day (saturday) I went shopping with Jordan. I got christmas gifts for some people, and for myself I got some shoes and a cd. I know that's kind of selfish, but oh well! haha. I got Duane Peters Vision shoes, and a Bronx CD. So after shopping, I got home and like within 4 hours I got very sick. My throat hurts, I've got a headache, and I was awake in a cold sweat last night. I was also slightly delirious. When I am sick, my hearing gets really bad, and I sort of see colors. I mean things are different colors then they usually are. I get so lazy too, it took me like 15 minutes to pull a blanket over myself, hahaha. I am supposed to meet some friends today and trade christmas presents, but I don't know if I'll be able to.... I had a hard enough time getting over to the computer, which is right next to my bed. I don't know, I'll see how I feel later. Bye.

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Time:	7:36 pm.
Mood:	okay.
Music:	dead milkmen - bitchin camaro.

holy i have really got to make a routine out of updating here. so today sucked. bad. i was supposed to call this girl, since she said today would be good, so when i called, she wasn't home. i called again at around 5 or 6, and she was like 'ermmm, i want to burn some cds' so i am here alone. eating almonds. nice night. yesterday was good though! i went and saw an imax movie with a few of the fellas. those things are a real good time. i also bought some records yesterday. they are :
the unicorns - who will cut our hair when we're gone?
...and you will know us by the trail of dead - madonna
i was eating pizza yesterday for lunch, and i could've sworn i saw someone i knew, but i just wasn't sure, and i was much too afraid to say anything. So instead of saying anything, we sort of looked at eachother for extended periods of time. oh well. If i see her again, and we are talking, I suppose I will ask her about it. i am excited for some things to come in the mail. i am waiting for a record, four cds, and a t shirt. i ordered most of them for my birthday. i want monday to come so i can check the mail again. thats it. see ya.

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Time:	9:50 pm.
Mood:	fidgety.
Music:	amon tobin - slowly.

Hi. sorry it's been so long. I got a record tonight! It is great! I also sent away for a dtrash comp called Rising Tide. I suppose it should be here before december. I am kind of happy about that. Other than shipping and receiving of music, nothing has happened. Actually I ate chinese last night for my grandmas birthday. I had Tofu. BYE!

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Time:	7:22 pm.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	weezer - island in the sun.

i think one of my friends doesn't like me. she's never said anything about it, but when we're on the net, she hardly talks. at school, she is sometimes mean, and when i point it out, she laughs. she never wants to do anything outside of school. she makes me feel really alienated. it's like she's always got someone better to talk to, or something better to do. i suppose there could be explanations for these things, but it's saddening. she is probably the best friend i've got ... assuming i've got her as a friend. to make things worse, i have a huge crush on her. i am going to watch radio free roscoe. maybe they'll make me feel better. if all else fails, i'll go for a walk and listen to mogwai. that seems to work sometimes. good day.

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Subject:	HI
Time:	9:55 pm.
Mood:	hyper.
Music:	freez - IOU.

HI. hi, i am hyper tonight! so much fun! i am really excited about indiemixtrade or something like that. it's like a group of however many people, and they all make mix cds and send them to one another. i am signed up for this month's exchange, which means i must get my hands on some cds. and make a list of songs for them. i've also fallen in love with the band Tilly and the Wall. they are great! tap dancing is great! i ate a whole bunch of leftover halloween candy tonight. okay that's all, because i have to go and brush my teeth... they hurt. :(

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Subject:	hi.
Time:	10:47 pm.
Mood:	calm.
Music:	Tilly and the Wall - You and I Misbehaving.

I decided that i would update again. i went out for a walk and listened to mogwai. that always seems to drastically change the mood i'm in. I feel ... well, i don't feel bored. i am not really sad anymore, kind of indifferent. i was analyzing my relationships with people while outside, and i found that i connect with a lot of people, but on a very low level. there are very few people i really, REALLY like. i'm sure there are even fewer people who really, REALLY like me as well. i don't know what else to post. i am getting sleepy. i will continue these thoughts tomorrow night if i can.

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Subject:	:(
Time:	9:20 pm.
Mood:	1 part bored + 2 parts sad.
Music:	the unicorns - ghost mountain.

hmph. i am bored. my friend said she didnt want to go to the show tonight, so i stayed at home. she said she'd rather go trick or treating, so i asked to go with her and she basically flat out said i shouldn't. i dont understand girls. i finished out bowl of candy for the children, and now i feel sick. i am hot. i am uncomfortable. i want to go outside, but i think there are still kids out there. i want to call someone, but i don't really have a strong enough relationship with anyone to the point where i could call them to talk. i want to find some new friends... maybe i am too picky about the people that i like... but i am not going to settle for less in a friend than i want. grrrrrr. that's all. i am going to get a coat and i am going out whether or not there are kids outside. goodbye.

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Subject:	today and yesterdayyy
Time:	7:36 pm.
Mood:	anxious.
Music:	wu tang clan - protect ya neck (bloody version).

hi. i am in a pretty good mood ; my weekend is going quite well so far. last night, almost immediately after school, i went to a friends house and we played video games and ate doritos. it was fun. the games that we played were : neo contra and grand theft auto - san andreas. we beat contra in like a half hour and the grand theft auto one was hard, so i left shortly after twelve last night, as i had given up and there were no more doritos. today, i went downtown and did a little shopping with another friend. <3 i was upset that it was raining, but we still got to record runner and i was able to buy two albums -- the 5.6.7.8's - bomb the twist , and Robertson with bullfrog - deeper shade of green. i listened to the 5.6.7.8's when i got home and it is great! i also got a notorious b.i.g. album today, but haven't listened to it. after the long day, i was quite tired, we drove my friend home, and now i am waiting for my pizza to come. i think i'll watch the lost boys later. well, in 20 minutes. Tomorrow is halloween, and I am going to halloween hardcore. i think i am going to try and find a little band to wear over my eyes like a ninja turtle or something. we want to trick or treat off bank street. it is going to be fun. i suppose that is all.

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Subject:	bored.,asdfgdfgs!!
Time:	5:35 pm.
Mood:	painfully bored.
Music:	hot cross - pretty picture of a broken face.

okay i am really bored. my friend is spewing scarface quotes at me and has been for like 15 minutes. i was wondering if anyone notices things like this (other than me): when people take away parts of words or mispronounce them. I was talking to a friend about this a few weeks ago. it doesnt bug me though, i just notice it. like the word 'well'. if someone is going to say something like 'well, you know' sometimes, they say 'wull, you know'. odd. and the phrase 'it's like' sometimes, I say 'tsike'. or 'what the hell?' some people will say 'duhell?' like you can tell they are making a small effort to say 'what', but it just seems to be air coming out of their mouth before they say 'duh hell??' sheesh, i should call someone. or maybe i'll work on music or something. my friend let me borrow a manga book of inu yasha. she really loooves that show and tells me the books are good to, so i'll probably read that soon. theres my night in a nutshell. maybe i'll go for a walk too, i haven't done that in a while. and i've got a few cds to listen to. well, i'll see whatever happens tonight.

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Time:	7:32 pm.
Mood:	happy.
Music:	the number twelve looks like you - jesus and tori.

hi. i am really bored tonight, and looking forward to tomorrow night. me and a few friends are starting a grind core band. though i'm not a big fan of grind core anything, it will still be fun. i'd really like to have a band like the number twelve, because they are awesome, so i am gonna bring their cd tomorrow and show it to the guys. hopefully they'll like it and we can play something a little more like that. either way it should be a fun time, because we're leaving school before 4th period to jam. at least i think it's tomorrow.... oh whatever. i ordered a record from Wrecked DIY electronic distro yesterday. it's called Shitmat and Friends Prezentz The Mashcore Malisha E.P. I can't wait to hear it all! I don't know if I said this already, but i finished the track i was working on over the weekend, and it's alright, but i can never make the endings to songs sound good. it basically looses excitement about half way through. I think i am going to redo the second half and see if i can make it sound any better. i also think i might go to halloween hardcore with my friend, she said her sister was taking her. the only thing is that i will feel weird if they've dressed up and i am still in normal apparel. oh well, we'll see. whether or not i go to it though, i am not going to stay home. i really don't like kids, let alone giving them candy that i could be eating.
so yes.
bye!

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Subject:	bah
Time:	12:55 am.
Mood:	creative.
Music:	my own.

hello. my friend wasn't allowed to go to the show this evening, so i stayed home :( oh well, i got to work on this track that i started this morning. i really think it sounds good! really different from things i have done in the past, i am always searching for the style of music i want to make the most, and the style that i am best at making. it takes a lot of time. i'm really glad i was able to find out about doing this kind of thing at such a young age, because it gives me that much more time to improve. i really love doing it too, so i'm sure i won't become bored of it (unlike most things). I don't know, i guess that's all. I've got to go and try to finish this!

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Time:	10:34 am.
Mood:	tired.
Music:	joshua fit for battle - sleepwalkers guide.

alright, i had a pretty good time last night in kemptville. the bands were pretty good, except haddonsfield. i guess the singer couldn't hear the music or something, because he was singing so off key. it was great seeing some friends last night, and eating mr.mazzarella...errr however you spell it. yeah, so tonight is femme fatality and the nads, it should be fun. i think i might be going shopping before it too. so thats it.

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Time:	9:20 pm.
Mood:	good.
Music:	hansel - GRIDS.

hi. i had a grrreat time at moneen last night. all the other bands were great, and i met a person named igor. he is a friend of a friend. now he is just a friend! i also said hello to several people i do not know. i never knew how fun it was! talking to people you don't know is really amusing! i am going to do it more often now. tomorrow night, in fact! i am going to kemptville to see daggers bearing notes, body harvest, sprignfield, hartsfield, and .... something-else-field... i cannot remember their name. oh well, it should be fun! i just need to find a ride now.. oh yeah and on novemeber 7 i want to go and see misery signals, i think it would be fun, and a good oppurtunity to meet some people! haha, i never used to talk like this. i am generally a pretty anti-social person, but meeting people is surprisingly pleasant! yep, i think that's all. i will post either after the show or the next morning. bye.

rock over london; rock on chicago.

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Time:	7:56 pm.
Mood:	calm.
Music:	the appleseed cast - hanging marrionette.

hi. i am really doing nothing tonight. i went out right after school with a friend and got some stuff at the dollar store for an art project, and walked her home. now i am eating some popcorn, listening to the applesed cast (great band), and waiting for degrassi to come on.i am starting to really get excited about tomorrow night's moneen show. it should be really fun. and friday is a half day of school, and i may go see some bands in kemptville that night. and then, the next day, i am excited to see Femme Fatality. oh yes the nads are playing with them too. i think that show will be a lot of fun. and thennnnnn on november 7, misery signals is playing, and they are super good, so i am trying to convice a friend to go, so i can steal a ride from him. i gave him their cd to listen to, and he liked it, so he is going to show his brother it, and if he likes it, he will probably drive. so yeah, i will be seeing a lot of live music in the weeks to come. yeah, i think that's about it. good evening

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Subject:	no walk.
Time:	10:41 pm.
Mood:	tired.
Music:	at the drive in - 300mhz.

so we didnt go out for any walk, but oh well. neither of us really wanted to go out anyway. instead i stayed in and played on degrassi and punk ottawa. degrassi is so funny, because all of the people on it are weird, except for my friends. hehe. speaking of which, i made a new one today. she is alie. that is pretty much all i know about her. but she is my friend.thats all for tonight. i've got essays to write. see ya!

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Time:	7:02 pm.
Mood:	hungry.
Music:	the number twelve looks like you - civeta dei.

you are an emo pussy. stop whining about how your
girlfriend dumped you and get the fuck over it.
go cry. stop feeling sorry for yourself, cause
everyone is sick of hear it you dumb asshole.

what kind of asshole scene kid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahah that is so funny. yeah, so today i didnt really do much. pretty much sat on the computer and got cds. mmmm, i can smell tonight's dinner. lasagna and garlic bread. should be tasty. sheesh i am hungrrry. i think i'll go out for a walk later. someone may call, but even if they don't, i should get outside, because i havent really seen sunlight all day... speaking of today, i heard it was 'edge day' -- anniversary of the final ten yard fight show. in honor of edge day, i've decided to get a tyf album. i like them. i've heard them before, and i loved the song ... but for some reason i never looked in to any more of their stuff. i am strange like that. i guess lazy is more the word, but whatever. hahah i really like the show radio free roscoe. it is really funny, hehe. a boy just asked a girl to go out with him on stage in front of the WHOLE school. now the poor boy is crushed because the girl ran away. hahahha.alright! supper time. i'll probably post later and talk about how exiting my walk was! :| haha. yeah, see ya.

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Subject:	yeah!
Time:	1:43 am.
Mood:	happy and tired and cold.
Music:	the fullblast - lee majors, now there is a man in his prime.

yay! she came! i made her some food, and we went to her house. we watched waynes world and cut pictures out of her moms 'country woman' magazines. we took the pictures we cut out and taped them in random places in the village. what a nice night. i am glad she came, it made my day easily. now it is really cold and i am tired and ready to sleep. goodnight!

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Subject:	complaining
Time:	7:45 pm.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	aesop rock - daylight.

so it's saturday night now, i spent most of the day in ottawa, and called a friend when i got home. she wasn't there. so i went on the net, and talked to her there. she was at someone else house, so i asked her to call or come over whenever she was done there. that was around 4, and its now almost 8. i've kinda given up on getting called on tonight. i'll probably just stay home and surf the net till late and then go out for a walk like i usually do. dont get me wrong, my regular routine is just fine, but i want to see someone tonight, and i thought they'd call. oh well. so i got a cd tonight -- aesop rock's 'daylight'. it's really good. bah, today sucked. i just cleaned up my grandmothers apartment all day and came home. now i'm starting to feel sick. what a poo day. maybe tomorrow will be better.. or maybe someone'll call tonight ... right ..... now! ... aw. oh well see ya.

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